The Luna Lovegood Friendship Experiment
by AvidREADERwriter
Summary: First-year Luna Lovegood is having trouble making friends. So she asks help from the one professor who seems to have them in droves: Professor Lockhart. Disclaimer: All characters belong to incredible J.K. Rowling.


Luna Lovegood loved laughter. She loved bubbly laughs, squealing laughs, hiccupping laughs, and even snorting laughs. However, she couldn't imagine a more painful sound than the shrieks of laughter coming from a group of girls as she passed. Their laughs vaguely reminded Luna of a screaming banshee. And like the banshee's scream, horrible screeches often attracted Plurks, feisty little buggers who loved to make nests in their victim's head hair. Luna figured she had better warn the uninformed girls.

"You know, you should be careful not to laugh so loudly," Luna said as she stood in front of the group of Slytherin girls, her protuberant eyes growing wider. "Plurks are highly attracted to loud laughs."

The group of girls looked at Luna, wondering what on earth this strange girl was talking about. "What are Plurks?" One of them asked.

"Oh they're invisible creatures that like to live in human head hair," Luna said serenly.

The girls gave her a bewildered look, a stare that had been directed at Luna almost as soon as she had stepped foot off the Hogwarts Express. Without losing any time, the girls hurriedly left in the opposite direction leaving Luna alone, whispering loudly how much of a nutter she was.

Luna pondered this for a moment. Did people think she was strange? Luna had noticed that there were many things she didn't understand about her classmates, but then again, not many of her peers knew of the things she spoke of either. But perhaps these miscommunications were the reason she had no friends.

Well, it was a good thing she liked experimenting because having friends was something Luna really wanted to try. But how on earth was she supposed to do that? As the daughter of the extremely busy editor of _The Quibbler_, Luna had never interacted with other kids her age before. Luna thought of the possibilities while she walked to her Defense Against the Dark Arts class, when she quite literally bumped into her answer.

"Oh, sorry Professor Lockhart," Luna said looking up at the Lilac robed wizard.

"Well hello there, Lulu was it?" the coiffed haired Professor asked as he looked down at the petite first year. "I suppose you're in a hurry to get to class before all the front seats are taken, eh?"

"Oh, no," she said smiling up at him, as she realized something extremely important. "Professor, you've got plenty of friends right?"

Professor Lockhart looked almost scandalized that she even had to ask. "My dear girl, one does not win _Witch Weekly's_ Most-Charming-Smile Award five times in a row without being well known," he said flashing his large white teeth. "Yes, I suppose I am rather popular now that you mention it. What with being an international famous wizard and all."

"Yes," said Luna simply, "I thought as much. But Professor, how does one go about making friends?"

"Lulu, Lulu, Lulu," said Lockhart, patting the top of her head. "I _understand_. Natural to fancy a bit of popularity at your age. Well," he said paternally, "the first thing you've got to do is start picking up on the latest trends. Take me for instance, I'm always the first to buy the newest robe in whatever the color of the moment is. Do you know why?"

Luna shook her head.

"Because people are attracted to those who attract other people, remember that," he said with a roguish wink. "Secondly, find the most popular kids in your year and start copying how they dress, the way they speak, and imitate their mannerisms. Then when you start hanging around with them, they'll realize you're just like them. Oh! And most importantly, do _not_ be yourself! Be the person they want you to be, Lulu."

Luna continued to stare at him, absorbing the advice.

"Now, I think we'd better get to class," he said with a little chortle. "I'm sure your classmates are in a fret wondering where I am."

It didn't take Luna long to figure out who were the "popular" kids in her year. They were a group of Gryffindor girls (Shelly Capper, Jezebel Dorny, Beatrice Dunstan) all of whom were always laughing and seemed to have loads of friends.

So Luna observed and used any information she could get. So far she had noticed each girl always wore a necklace and pair of earrings, knee-high socks, often talked while making grand gestures with their hands, and each seemed to sport a button with a famous Quidditch player on the front. So with this new information, Luna got to work.

The next day, Luna approached the Gryffindor girls with confidence and enthusiasm. It had taken her all night to put together an outfit, but with a little help from some of Hogwarts' House-elves it had all come together. As she approached the group in the Great Hall, the girls looked startled as they took in Luna's appearance. She had donned a pair of mismatching, bright and patterned, knee-high socks; a hand-made necklace of butterbeer caps; a pair of Dirigible Plums (sent specially from her father's garden); and even a button pinned to her blouse of a hand-drawn picture of a dancing green blob with eyes.

"Hello," Luna said brightly. The girls continued to gape, noticing the stares they were receiving from other students. "I'm Luna."

The girls didn't seem able to react.

_Perhaps I'm doing something wrong_, Luna thought then realized she had forgotten a crucial part of their speaking ritual. Suddenly Luna's arms started making grand gestures as she spoke to them. "My name is Luna," she said loudly. "What's yours?"

The laughter of the other students seemed to wake the girls out of their stupor. "What are you doing?" Shelly asked incredulously.

"I'm introducing myself," said Luna with her arm flying between her and the group.

"Yes, I see that," Shelly continued. "But why are you introducing yourself?!"

Luna stared at her them confusedly, and then realized they probably hadn't noticed their common interest of wearing buttons. "Have you seen my button?" Luna asked.

The girls' looked at Luna's button. "Is that a bogey?" Beatrice asked, disgust evident in her voice.

Luna let out a scream of mirth. "Oh, of course not. It's a bundimum. Their toxins could deteriate the foundations of any house."

Again Luna was met with empty stares.

"So who do you have on your buttons?" Luna asked dreamily.

The girls looked to eachother, finally realizing that Luna had been trying to imitate them. And not wanting to be associated with the odd-ball of their class, the Gryffindor girls quickly gathered their belongings, all the while ignoring Luna's questions of where they were going, and hurredly left the Great Hall.

Luna didn't know what she had done wrong. She had followed Professor Lockhart's instructions, but she still hadn't made any friends. It seemed only logical for Luna to speak with Professor Lockhart again to try and figure out what she did wrong. She found him in his office, apparently answering a pile of fan mail.

"Ah, Lupe, what can I do for you?" he asked as she made her way toward his desk.

"Well, actually Professor, I need your advice again," she said serenly. "It seems your last bit didn't really work out that well."

"I-I beg your pardon!" sputtered Lockhart. "What in the name of Merlin are you talking about!"

"Your advice on how to make friends," Luna informed him. "It wasn't very good."

"Ah yes, your thirst for fame, now I remember," Lockhart said as he walked from behind his desk and caught sight of Luna's attire. "Well galloping gargoyles Lupe, what in the world are you _wearing_!"

"Oh do you like them?" Luna said in a vague voice.

"Well no wonder you've had problems-you must have misunderstood-well, let's see if we can fix this shall we? I mean, I am the possessor of an Order of Merlin, Third Class, and Honorary Member of the Dark Force Defense League, after all. So tell me what it is that you've done so far."

Luna recounted her flawless execution of befriending the three Gryffindors, while giving a detailed account of how she made her accessories.

Professor Lockhart seemed to have another approach. "Alright Lupe, since this seems to be such a dire case of loner-dome, I am going to disclose to you the most top kept secret in the celebrity world on how to become popular."

Luna's eyes widened, enhancing her already permanently surprised look.

Lockhart lowered his voice conspiratorially, "Well, the key to popularity is to keep people guessing. Take me for instance, no one knows what new and exciting adventures I'll be on next. In this world, to get notice you have to do something nobody else would think of doing."

The photographs of Lockhart on the walls were all nodding in agreement as he talked.

"So think of something good and I'm sure you'll have people begging to be your friend in no time."

For the next couple of days, all Luna could think of was doing something amazing and unexpected. One day she decided to walk everywhere backwards with her eyes closed, but that only succeeded in giving her bruises from all the times she tripped (which she suspected Imps were to blame). And it didn't seem like the people she fell over were very impressed with her new talent for backward walking anyway.

Another day Luna thought it'd be a good idea to only read and write beginning at the end and ending at the beginning. But her teachers complained that her essays and homework didn't make sense, so she had to give up on that too.

And then there was the day that she tried to pass out Gurdyroot, a green looking onion, to the student body promising it would get rid of any Gulping Plimpies infestations that might be in the castle. But even her goodwill just didn't seem to be welcomed by the Hogwarts population. Luna was now getting desperate. What if she never made a friend? Truthfully speaking, Luna had never imagined it would be this hard to make friends. But nobody else seemed to have a problem with this.

It was the day before everyone would leave for summer holidays and Luna wasn't too happy about it. She had been trying for weeks now to make friends and to no avail. As fate would have it, Luna's attempts only seemed to fuel people's dislike for her. And as it would happen, a couple of girls were laughing and pointing at her as she ate her breakfast.

This friendship experiment just wasn't working out like she had expected it to. So with a bothered sigh, Luna thought on what Madam Pomfrey had advised and decided to try out meditating. It didn't sound too hard, and if it could help her, well Luna supposed she could give it a try. Without another thought on the matter, Luna moved her plate to the side and pulled herself up onto the table. She then sat with her legs folded and with her palms faced upward, began the calming breathing exercises that Madam Pomfrey had suggested. She heard harsh laughs, but as she became more focused on her breathing, the sounds of the Great Hall were reduced to a light buzzing sound.

Luna had to admit, it had been awhile since she had felt so serene and content. Where had these feelings been? Luna thought back and had to confess that it had all began when she became so obsessed with finding friends. And was it really worth it? What had she gained from this experiment? She had spent more and more time first trying to conform to how others thought she should be, and then exhausted herself while trying to come up with ways to stand out and be unexpected. And with an extra deep breath, Luna finally admitted to herself that she had been much happier when she was just being herself.

She missed her strolls into the forbidden forest with the Thestrals, feeding pieces of bread to the giant squid while she attempted to speak Mermish, and of course her many mini-expeditions for undiscovered creatures. Luna gave a sigh, yes she really was happy back then. And that's when she realized that it isn't only friends that could make her happy; it was ultimately up to her to make herself happy. Because why would anyone want to be friends with a restless Luna? Why didn't she realize before? It only made sense that if Luna wanted others to accept her, then she would first have to accept herself first.

And with that epiphany, Luna's protuberant eyes popped open, disregarding all onlookers and cruel laughter directed at her, as she stood up and gracefully jumped down from the table. And with her old dreamy expression back on her face, Luna skipped backwards all the way to her common room.

The next day, Luna sat by herself in an empty compartment, perfectly content with herself again. Last night she had just enough time to run down to the lake to chuck the giant squid a nice large loaf of bread, scream some Mermish at the top of her lungs (just to make sure he knew she had visited) and jump rope back to her common room before curfew. Luna was just going over her plans for future scavenges for creatures unknown when the compartment opened and a red-haired witch came bustling in.

"Hi," the red head said, obviously out of breath. "Can I sit here for a bit? I'm trying to get away from my mischievous twin brothers."

Luna nodded, as she went back to her hand drawn map of the lands around her house where she was planning to search.

"What's that?" The girl asked.

"It's a map," Luna said vaguely, "This summer I plan to find Chicaflurs and Beebops."

"Really? What are those?" she asked interestedly.

Luna looked at the other girl. "You're making fun of me, aren't you."

The red-haired witch looked alarmed. "No! I'm really interested in what they are. I've never heard of them before."

Luna seemed to consider this and then held out her hand, deciding to take a chance, "I'm Luna Lovegood."

The other witch seemed happy at the sight of Luna's outstretched hand and enthusiastically shook it, "Ginny Weasley."

Luna smiled at Ginny and began to tell her about all Chicaflurs and Beebops.

6


End file.
